The Mary Celeste has nothing on me

Now, I'm not the tidiest person in the world so perhaps I shouldn't say anything, but I do kind of enjoy those times when I come home and my housemate is out and I have to work out from the mess he left behind whether he's out all night, or just popped out to the shops for some tobacco.

A few nights ago, I came back, and the house was empty. The washing up hadn't been done (although that doesn't tell me anything. It's not unheard of him to stay in for a whole week and not do any washing up) with an empty bean feast packet among the plates and there was a nearly finished bottle of coke lying under the kitchen table.

Making sure not to disturb anything, I walked into the living room. The Wii was still on, felt tip pens were on the floor and the armchair was at a funny angle. By now I was trying to work out what series of events could’ve caused all this. He’d had beanfeast and coke for dinner, and was playing on the Wii when suddenly he leapt up, scattering pens across the floor and pushing the armchair to one side, and had to leave the house with no time to tidy up after him.

Of course, the truth is that these different clues had probably slowly built up over a number of hours, which makes me wonder if disappearing people mysteries like the Mary Celeste or the lighthouse at Eilan Mor are really to do with UFOs or the Bermuda Triangle and are more than likely due to arguments over sloppy housekeeping that got out of hand (especially with the guy who left his half-eaten meal on the table).